What size are the cards?

Good question! All of our cards are A5 size (148mm x 210mm). They are printed onto a 400gsm card (which is quite hard – ooer!), and not that shiny stuff that makes your ink smudge either. We hate that. The cards are blank inside for your own naughty little message. They come with a white gummed envelope. The card will require a large stamp if you are posting it.

We may be d**ks, but not to our environment: check out our sustainability & environmental state-ment on our Homepage.

Is postage included?

Yep it sure is. We send your cards by standard Royal Mail delivery for FREE – as long as you are in the UK. We are more than happy to post to you if you live outside of the UK if you are happy to pay the additional postage cost. Contact us BEFORE you place an order so we can help you. We’d be chuffed if our cards were being ordered from, or for other countries, so do drop us a line – or even better send us a pic and we’ll post it on our social media. We may even award a prize to the cards sent the furthest distance – or maybe not. Don’t hold your breath.

How long will it take to receive my card?

If you place an order online, we’ll get our skates on and post to you the next day. We don’t post at weekends (coz we’re lazy) and Bank Holidays (also coz we’re lazy). We post standard Royal Mail de-livery, so your card should be with you 2 days after you’ve ordered. Obviously we can’t make guaran-tees for the Royal Mail

Are my payment and personal details safe with you?

AB-SO-FRIGGING-LUTELY!!! Check out our Privacy Policy on our Homepage. We do not share your details with anyone else.

Will these cards offend the person I am sending them to?

We sure hope so! Whilst offensive & sweary, our cards are not mean or cruel. You are responsible for how you use them. Don’t be a d**k about it. Send them to people you LOVE!

If you have a problem...

Please use our contact form and tell us. We’ll do our best to sort it out. Honestly, we will.

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